I wish I was pretty but like actually pretty, not “my friends and family think I’m pretty because they’re my friends and family” pretty

    most girls:hair done up really cute, lots of makeup, designer clothes, hipster blog, thigh gap
    me:no hair, glasses, scary beard, button up shirts and porkpie hat, cooks meth to provide for my family. i am the danger. i am the one who knocks


dude i’m gonna frickin hold your hand so hard it’s gonna blow your mind with how hecka rad my affection is


I want to talk to you but my face


marry a guy who has sisters because he’s seen the female in her natural state therefore won’t have any unrealistic expectations of you 


The first thing I said after getting my wisdom teeth out was “Who’s this douchebag?” When my mom walked in the room

I don’t think you understand

Even when I’m drugged up that bad I’m still making homestuck references


one time I showed my mom a picture of a hot guy on here and she started analyzing his personality

it scares me that you never know what someone is thinking or feeling towards you and everything that they say could be one massive lie